Joanna Malinowska
Professional Hypnotherapist
Sydney Hypnotherapy & Self Hypnosis Centre
Hypnotherapy for Anger Management
Anger is an emotion which arises in response to any event which we may interpret as crossing our boundaries and attacking.
We respond with anger when we feel that we need to defend ourselves physically, our family members or our country, our property, our values and even our entitlements. Anger is the response to attack when we can lose something, but also when we do not receive what we feel we deserve. Anger is a prompt for attack as the best defence; the emotion is associated with biological changes in the body as the body prepares for combat, the stress enzymes are released, the blood pressure rises, the heart beats quicker, and we may feel hot and even start shaking.
The biological changes can be very rapid when the strong anger arises, and it can quickly turn into a violent rage without much thinking. Sometimes the opposite happens, we mentally block the prolonged frustration and anger and the biological changes like high blood pressure and stress enzymes become permanent, leading to a serious health problems.
There is the primary anger, a survival tool, which prompts us to action when we are in real danger, or there is a real danger to others, or our basic values are attacked. This kind of anger allows us to overcome the paralysing fear so we can stand up for ourselves and defend our basic existence.
However, anger is most often a secondary emotion, caused by fear, insecurity, low confidence, hurt and pain. When you are confident and secure, you do not need to respond with anger to critics or judgments. The words or actions of other people do not affect you when your self-esteem is strong, your feel your worth and you treat critics as getting a feedback and good tips to improve. Yes, when you are confident and open, you are grateful for critics, as it helps you to grow and learn.
Similarly, when we hold hurt and pain in our hearts, we are afraid of more hurt and pain, and we respond with anger when we feel that it may happen again. It is also easier to hold onto anger, because it makes us stronger to be angry than hurt and sad, and the old anger is revoked at any situation which reminds us of the old hurt. Those connections are on the subconscious level, very often not logical, difficult to trace.
We are also angry when we are denied the fulfilment of our desires. Some people are carrying anger and resentment from their younger years. Life is a challenge and has many needs. Baby cries with anger when it is hungry; little child will be angry when her sister has more attention from parents. Having more, accumulating goods, receiving awards etc makes us feel secure and important, and stronger. So again, the desires, the need to receive comes from basic insecurities and low confidence. The unreasonable anger when somebody receives more has also usually roots in the past. When we are free from this kind of desire, the need to grasp, the need to be special, the need to be better than others or have more, we are free not only from this sort of anger, we are free to use or potential to achieve more.
How hypnotherapy can help you with anger?
Hypnotherapy is the best tool for anger management, because it allows you to access your internal resources to find the best solutions to manage your anger. You can also implement your solutions in hypnosis and rehearse the challenging situations, still in hypnosis. This way the solutions are working on both conscious and subconscious levels, so it is like the automatic habit change. With hypnotherapy and some NLP techniques performed in hypnosis, we can also neutralize the triggers, so you will be much calmer in the situations which would normally bring anger.
Hypnotherapy also allows you to understand you anger better, by going not only to the current situations which bring anger, but also to the original events which are the reasons for the triggers. These events are usually forgotten, buried deep in subconscious mind. We can access them while in deep hypnosis and we can change the beliefs and perceptions of the past, because we can see it now with reason, through the adult eyes, not through the eyes of a frightened child. Once this is done, the anger dissolves, as the old triggers become neutral.
And we can do even more, much more than just managing the anger, we can create the real miracles in hypnosis. Hypnotherapy will help you to resolve the real reasons for anger, depression, anxiety and fear, insecurity, low confidence, hurt and pain or deep sadness. All those underlying emotions are often hidden deep in the subconscious mind and are difficult to trace. With hypnotherapy, we can access the subconscious mind and solve the anger by dealing with and letting go the causes of underlying emotions. As a result, we are more confident, relaxed, stronger and happier, so we do not need to be angry anymore.
How Family Constellations (Systemic Therapy) can help you with anger?
Very often there is a history of violence and anger or pain and hurt in the family, and it can be passed from generation to generation. Family Constellations therapy allows accessing and dissolving those issues, even if they are deeply rooted in the past.
Sometimes there is a lot of anger and even hate towards our parents. Perhaps your father was violent towards your mother and you, perhaps your mother was drinking and neglecting you, perhaps one of the parents left the family, maybe parents left you for adoption. You can carry anger and hate though your whole life even for other things, perhaps parents were showing more interest to your siblings and you felt ignored or neglected, perhaps you were criticized or controlled.
Very often similar anger and hurt which you may originally feel towards your father is transferred on the subconscious level to your husband. And sometimes you act the same way towards your children as you parents were when you were a child. All those patterns and many other can be resolved and stopped during the Family Constellations therapy, which may be performed during the private hypnotherapy session or in the workshop. The solution brings peace and calmness coming from acceptance and understanding at the deepest level of our being.